Ode to Oxycodone

There’s nothing quite like Oxycodone, that reliever of the chronically pained and habituated.  Those little round, unassuming white pills that carry with them so much warmth.  A warmth that seems to settle into your skin forming a barrier between you and your body.  It’s like a blanket fresh from the dryer.  You hold onto it as long as you can, willing that comforting tenderness to remain.  But, it never does.  Eventually you begin to slowly lose grasp as you feel it recede back towards your center, leaving you exposed to the cruelties of reality.

And those cruelties.  They mount up like remnants of a good time gone past, like wrapping paper after a birthday party.  The longer time passes the more obvious and loathsome the pile becomes.  An aching in the back of the head.  Sweatiness on forearms.  A jitteriness in the legs.  Fingernails pressed into a palm.  But this is normal.

This is every day.

This is just the time between.

As these cruelties build up it gets harder to discern them from the real pain.  Are they the manifestations of that slipped disk?  That grinding knee?  The migraines?  Or do they belong to that more sinister scheme of the accustomed?  The fear of going without.

But it doesn’t matter, the prescription ensures that won’t happen.  Every four hours that warm blanket returns to shield you and you stop thinking about the time between.

This is calm.

This is how it should always be.

There’s nothing quite like Oxycodone.

2 Comments

  1. Steven – I lost my daughter to a heroin overdose – it started with a prescription. She tried many times to explain it and though I thought I understood, I really didn’t. Your description (your writing) made it all clear. That was nearly 7 years ago – we’ve all come a long way but so much further to go.

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